ETHAN COMMENTS ON POSTING FROM FORUM ON DADDY'S REVIEW
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 23, 2008


ORIGINAL POSTING on DADDY’S REVIEW:

>I've been seeing this escort for a couple of years and have
>developed an emotional attachment to him. This is mutual. He
>goes above and beyond the call of duty, always giving me
>something extra. Not quite sure how to handle this. But it
>makes our time together that much more special. Can escorts
>really love their clients beyond the friendship stage? We
>have talked about this, but he is more reserved in his words.
>Would like to see this relationship move to a different level,
>but don't now how to proceed. Any suggestions? The last thing
>I want to do is fuck it up and have this escort not see me
>anymore.

My response is in red:

Well, this is just merely an opinion so it isn't meant to offend anyone. Let me repeat, this isn't meant to offend anyone -- no clients, no escorts, just an opinion based on my time as an escort. Being an escort is a lifestyle unlike any other. There are social norms that do not apply to this lifestyle while additional expectations do. It is gravely complicated and results in very unique outcomes to most situations. For beginners, I would ask do you still pay for this escort? As long as you are paying him, it will ALWAYS be a business relationship. Escorts are hired to make you feel like center of the universe. We are hired to make you feel like you are the only person in the world. We are expected to make you feel good; both physically and emotionally. It is a fact that you hire us for a reason, and more often than not it is at some level to receive some sense of satisfaction or gratification. I would suggest proceeding with EXTREME caution emotionally if you are still continuing to pay this escort money. What you find with escorts are typically very ambitious, outgoing, sexually charged, thrill seeking adventurists. We are also survivors. We will do what is needed to survive. While many of us still subscribe to social norms like honesty, integrity and accountability, many do NOT. They subscribe only to survival. I say this because I have seen it first hand. I have witnessed it first hand. I have corrected it first hand. I have found myself surrounding my existence with those escorts in need. I have built a non-profit organization dedicated to giving escorts tools and resources they need to survive. My hope is that by giving escorts the resources they need to be successful in a legitimate fashion, it will eliminate the urge of taking these resources from our clients illegitimately away. It will eliminate the urge to survive at the expense of our clients. You see, I love my job. I love what I do. I enjoy the moment to moment adventure of escorting. What I don't enjoy are the heart wrenching stories I hear from clients around the world of escorts who exploited these men, their emotions, and their pocket books in order to survive I am not laying the blame on the escorts totally. Why might you ask? You have NO idea what we encounter in the average week. We encounter the man that wants to be loved. We encounter the client that wants to "own" you. You encounter the next client who wants a "boyfriend for the day," while the next man wants you to be an emotionless piece of property. One client needs love while the next client wants you to tie him up, beat him, steal from him, gag him, leave him unable to do anything but lay there and wait for someone else to save him. One client wants you to be their cum dumpsters while others want to be a cum dump. It is a challenge to keep "reality" a reality. It is VERY hard to see which way is up and which way is down. It is difficult to keep reality in check when your reality changes from hour to hour based on clients needs. While we will never be socially viewed as a legitimate business, the fact that we are "a business" will always be a fact. What I am trying to say is that I have been blessed with a family that grounded me with morals and values. In this very unique environment, I still stay in touch with reality because of my upbringing. I had a client ask me the other day to basically tie him up, steal everything of value in his home and leave him tied up, helpless. While he was telling me this fantasy he was hard and even was oozing pre-cum as he explained the details. He honestly got off on the idea. However, I am an escort, not a thief. I gave this client money back for the session we were currently in and referred him to several escorts in the area that I thought were more suited to his fantasies. I had to leave the situation and walk away because while it would have pleased the client, it would have made me feel like a thief. I believe me passing this moral litmus test was a direct effect of my values system instilled in me by my parents. I am lucky, most escorts weren't afforded that luxury. While I turned it down, many escort would have jumped at the opportunity to make thousands (possibly more based on the paintings I saw in this clients home). This would have been a golden opportunity to be fiscally set for the future. It would have been an opportunisitic escorts dream come true. It wasn't mine. I bring this story up because I believe that while it is way off the original topic the underlying theme about survival is still there. When we are faced with so many different "realities" everyday, it is easy to lose site of your own reality. In my own reality, it is not okay to steal. An escort who would have seen this as an opportunity to cash in, would have argued he was just fulfilling a clients request to be satisfied, thus making himself rich as a result.

WIIFM....What's In It For Me? That is the question most escorts approach every client with. In a world of varying and alternate realities, it makes sense. They are surviving while fulfilling your urges and fantasies. I guess the point I am making is that if you are still paying this escort when you see him, then he is benefiting from it financially and will argue that he is keeping you company, something you are asking for. He will justify his actions to the end with the fact that he is giving you what you are asking for. He will disregard the fact that you are really asking for more. He will ignore your "real" cry for emotional attachment. Now, if you have in fact stopped paying him and he is seeing you on his own accord, then I would say you have a green light. If he is seeing you for no other reason than to see you, then you are probably okay to move forward. If he is seeing you only gratify himself emotionally and not financially then you are most likely safe in proceeding with the relationship. However, if you are still compensating him for his time, then I would be willing to bet that he still views you as a client, not a friend and definitely not more than that.

If you are still paying him, take away the financial benefits from your meeting and see if you get the same emotional attachment as you were when you were paying him. If it is REAL, you will see no change in his behavior. However, If he still views your relationship as strictly business then, you will see him less frequently, less attached when you do see him and will clearly see a change in what you thought was bringing you together.

I'm not saying we aren't capable of healthy relationships. In fact, I have several men who were clients and are now friends whom I still see regularly but DO NOT PAY ME FOR MY TIME. I see them because they passed the threshold of being a client into being a friend. The moment these men became friends, I stopped allowing them to pay. Now I also have clients who became friends, yet still insist on paying me because it either a.) makes them feel better or b.) fulfills their fantasies. In this case, I still allow them to give me money but walk into each opportunity I have to see them without financial expectations. I even still see these few, select clients ONLY because I want to see him, not because I want or need their money. I am saying that you need to make sure that you, not your money is the core of that relationship. I hope this helps and doesn't destroy my reputation by speaking what I know to be truth and what has guided me in my own life as an escort. It is a complicated situation from all angles and there is no one person to blame for its complexity.

Ethan
rentEthan.com

Other readers response:
>Ethan,
>I thought your reply was thoughtful, cogent and written from
>the heart.
>As one who has developed friendships past the business
>relationship, I appreciated your take.
>Thanks.


Thank you JackHAmmer. Is that JackHammer as in the JackHammer in Ft. Lauderdale or am I way off??? If I'm off, my apologies. Hope you are well and thanks for your kind message. I was re-reading my response and found it full of errors but who the hell proofreads (like a smart person would do) before posting? Anyway, thanks..


Ethan

#31. RE: client emotional attachment?
Wed Apr-23-08 02:37 AM
In response to Reply # 28
Wed Apr-23-08 02:45 AM by Ethan
>I second that, an amazing response Ethan.
>
>Not only was that great to read, but it
>allowed a deep and rare glimpse into what
>many escorts experience within their heads
>and their lives.
>
>Lookin4hotties


Lookin,
Thank you so much for your kind words. I am glad that you found the value in my writing. I feel inspired to share my experiences to help people. While these boards can become very heated at times with varying opinions I still find value in what others have to say. In fact, lively debate often challenges people to think, and thinking is always a good thing. I feel that if I didn't share my opinions and experiences much of my life would be in vain. My experiences as an escort gain social significance if when shared the benefit people as a whole. Furthermore, sharing sometimes helps you cope with things yourself. I guess for me, it just gives so much more value to being an escort, if my experiences can give others wisdom, truth, and insight that protects them from being hurt by those that may have lost their way. Now I was not "selling out" on my colleagues with my response earlier, I want them more than anything or as much as anyone to be okay. I want escorts to be in this profession because they love it. When escorts can take care of themselves, love doing their job, and have no need to be shady, then our clients end up happier because the quality of "product" they are purchasing is better. The fact of the matter is I think too many clients accept a sub-standard quality product. I also feel that the "sub-standard" product didn't become "sub-standard" on its own and believe that escorts can always strive to be better, to deliver more, and to enjoy themselves along the way. To me everyone wins that way and truly that is what I hope for in the future. We can't be us, without you, and I just like to see everyone satisfied, including me. I am not satisfied however when I hear heart breaking stories from exploited clients. It really saddens me. When I saw this board today, I felt passionate about sharing my experience in hopes that the author would protect himself and know the "most likely" reality of the situation. If me sharing my opinion helps him, the I have fulfilled my moral duty. If me taking the time to give my opinion on a blog helps to accomplish either one of my goals (protecting people from pain and/or improving the overall ethics of escorting), then that is enough for me. Again thank you for your kind words. Stay wonderful!!


Ethan


Ethan responds to posting on forum in Daddy’s Review. Daddy’s review offers men around the world the ability to share their experiences with escorts. It also has great forums for lively debate. Check out daddysreview.com
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